Our style is constantly evolving, but what happens when it’s forced to evolve before we’re ready?

I’ve been sitting on this one for a while but the more I talk about it, the more I realise there’s a shame and silence as we enter this new phase of our life. Even though the conversation on perimenopause in general has amplified, we’re not talking about how it’s impacting our wardrobe, style and identity.

Last year, perimenopause hit me like a wrecking ball! To be honest, I think it had been creeping up on me for months, maybe even years but I didn’t actually realise what was going on with my body until about 9 months ago, and this was probably thanks to all the experts on Instagram.

Unfortunately, even though dr Instagram had caught me up to speed with the bad, the bad and the ugly of perimenopause, my team of health practitioners were still in denial and when I was told to use stronger deodorant and have a third shower during the day due to excessive sweating, I instead just went into hibernation mode for fear of embarrassment in social and work situations.

All the while, literally spending thousands trying to figure out everything going on in my body. It’s been a tough journey, but fortunately I’m starting to make a little progress.

But between the excessive sweating, hot flushes, gut issues, excessive bleeding and weight gain my style has had to evolve and this certainly hasn’t been an easy part of the journey either! Especially as my business perceives me to have a certain style, to actually be referred to as a ‘personal stylist’. Safe to say there have been times when I’ve had only a few outfits on repeat because they breath well, don’t squish my stomach, are big enough to handle the excessive bloating, and black enough to hide blood stains! (TMI? Get used to it). Some of them aren’t necessarily flattering but they are functional and allow me to participate in daily life.

Now I’ve always been a sweater but my peri-menopause sweat levels stepped up to a whole new level. (Prior to this I’d had some deeply embarrassing and shameful moments, but this was new heights, and nothing could manage it, when in public it was 24/7, I couldn’t escape it) then add fully saturated hot flush moments and I just wanted to hibernate even more. Combine shame and anxiety and you have the perfect combo for even higher levels of stress hormones, creating further issues.

As I started to search for more peri-menopause friendly clothes, I realised I was entering a whole new phase of my style and I had the realisation that it felt like I was shopping for someone else’s body, not mine. Breathable oversized pieces, elastic waists, lightweight breathable shoes. It really wasn’t a style I wanted to don, but it felt like the options were so limiting. I felt like I was starting to lose myself.

While dealing with all of this, I started opening up about it to close friends which in turn helped them open up too, which was comforting and shared conversations, find shared solutions.

I also got more confident and content with playing with my style as I work it all out. I’m now totally ok with the lazy and I cbf days and a denim skirt fitting one day but not even being able to do the button up the next (it will fit again in a coupe of days).

My personal journey has taught me:

– I can maintain elements of my style, it’s just a different way of interpreting it
– I’m actually enjoying the contentment of comfortability in my outfits
– Having more restrictive options has actually taught me to appreciate more and buy less, which is great on the sustainability front
– To be more creative, which layering is great for
– Aiming for functionality over the perfect outfit, which also encourages creativity
– Investing in natural fibres is a great investment in my wardrobe, my health and the planet

So, on the back of this I’m ready to continue the conversation, share solutions and help evolve our style to a place that feels empowering rather than leading us to fade into the background.

A workshop is in development!  But also reach out if you’d like to work one on one on curating a wardrobe that meets your changing needs and how to do it in a way that doesn’t break the bank or require a whole new wardrobe.